Honoring the Life and Legacy of
Jean Reynolds Drake
Biography
Jean Blythe Reynolds Drake will be remembered always for her smile, her passionate viewpoints, her love of music and nature, her desire to be involved in changing the world to become a more peaceful and loving place for ALL mankind. Her family adored her – and she, them – whether true blood or step, and she accepted everyone just as they were and are.
Jean was born in Utica, New York on 16 May, 1928, into the wonderful Reynolds family. Her father, Blythe Montgomery Reynolds, was a pioneer chemical engineer and one of the developers in the process for making Penicillin. Florence Ellen (Ross) Reynolds, her mother, was a nurse. Jean was the youngest with older siblings, John ‘Jack’ Ross Reynolds and Elizabeth ‘Betsy’ Ann (Reynolds) Smith. Following chemical company promotions, the young family moved first to Metuchen and eventually Montclair, New Jersey, where Jean grew up. Through her stable and loving family life, Jean began many of her life’s passions; strong and enduring friendships, the love of gardening, nature and especially the beach, frequenting the Jersey Shore regularly; all loves which she displayed throughout her life.
At the end of WWII, Jean and several of her friends decided to leave university spaces to returning soldiers, so she chose a women’s college, Hood College in Frederick MD. She graduated with a double major in Home Economics and Philosophy because she ‘couldn’t decide on only one’. Unable to settle on a career path either, she followed her father’s strong advice to attend Katherine Gibbs Secretarial School for a year after graduating, to ensure she always had something ‘to fall back on’. She made wonderful life-long friends in those years and as soon as she finished her schooling, moved with several friends to NYC to begin her working life with Lever Bros, one of several ad companies.
In 1952, Jean ‘hitched a ride’ out West with her brother Jack and his young family to follow her childhood dream of living on the West Coast, which began on a trip there when she was 8 years old. Once Jack’s family was settled in OR, Jean headed to San Francisco, living in a co-ed boarding house (raising eyebrows with her family back East) and working at BBD&O. In 1955 she met a recent widower, Herbert Gardner Drake; with two young sons, Herbert Gardner Drake, Jr and James Holden Drake, and moved back to CT to marry with the promise to one day bring up the family in CA. Soon the family grew with the addition of Peter Montgomery Drake in 1956 and Betsey Blythe Drake in 1957. When not busy with her children and step-sons, Jean launched new life-long loves like the renovation and building of homes, singing, bridge and many social activities.
Finally in 1963, Jean and family fulfilled the dream and moved to CA, living in Belvedere, Menlo Park, Stinson Beach and Tiburon before moving to The Tamalpais in Corte Madera. Although raising the family was her main occupation in the early days, she always found time for tennis, gardening, volunteer work, church and friendships. She was a founding member and served on many committees at the Community Congregational Church (CCC) of Tiburon as well as singing in multiple choirs and attending courses at College of Marin, never one to waste time. Later on she re-joined the workforce part-time doing secretarial work. During the mid-80s, Jean became a self-proclaimed peacenik joining “Beyond War,” a non-political educational organization which supported a growing movement to change planetary thinking about war, editing their newsletter. She and Herb also continued with their love of traveling including many trips to Europe, Africa, Asia and Mexico, sometimes pairing adventures and education through Elderhostel.
Following Herb’s death in 2000 and with her family independent and growing, she moved firstly to a lovely condominium in Tiburon and eventually to The Tamalpais and continued many of her favorite pastimes; gardening, opera and singing, volunteering for Hospice and traveling to Australia, Canada and the UK to visit family.
Jean passed peacefully, as she had always wished for, with dignity and spirit. Peter and Jared were present in the room with Betsey and Liz on ‘Zoom’. Also present immediately before her transition, were members of the Marin Threshold Choir, whose angelic singing brought great comfort and eased her transition.
Jean is survived by her son Peter (husband, Jared) of Sonoma, daughter Betsey (wife, Liz) of Port Macquarie, Australia and step-sons, Jim (wife, Lily) of Nelson, BC and Herb, Jr (wife, Francesca) of San Rafael; thirteen grandchildren; and nine great grandchildren and three great great grandchildren. Her celebration of life ceremony will be a virtual gathering on December 14, 2022 at 2:00 p.m. PST. An online reception will directly follow for those who wish to attend. All are welcome to join the family in honoring Jean’s life and sending her into the light. In lieu of flowers, we would prefer donations to Community Congregational Church in Tiburon and the Threshold Choir in Marin.
Virtual Celebration of Life
& Online Reception
Recorded: Wednesday, December 14th, 2022
Jean’s family invites you to view the virtual Celebration of Life service & reception honoring her life and legacy.
Double Love
A poem by Betsey Drake
I wrote this for Mom during Covid times and the Hummingbird Project put it into this format. ‘Rock’ is located on our local beach here in Port Macquarie and was always there for me when I missed Mom.
I love my Mom
And my Mom loves me
“Aye” says the Rock and
“Rock” says me.
Can I know how much I love her?
Or she loves me?
“Aye” says the Rock and
“Rock” says me.
Does love come in measures,
In heaps or treasures?
“Aye” says the Rock and
“Rock” says me.
Can I bundle up her love for me?
And send it back?
“Aye” says the Rock and
“Rock” says me.
If I add in all my love that I have for her
Does it make it double?
“Aye” says the Rock and
“Rock” says me.
Who has all these answers?
Who knows all these things?
“I” says the Rock and
Rock says “me.”
Fifty Years as a Drake
Photos of Jean and family celebrating her 50th wedding anniversary, in 2005, five years after Herb passed away. Video clip was put together by Andrew Tight who has, incidentally, gone into major motion picture production and he credits this work as the beginning of his career!
Drake Family Sing-Song
Christmas 2019 was the last time we were all together, the four Drake siblings and their spouses, at the Tamalpais with Mom. We were led in singing by Katrina Zosseder, who was working as a music therapist with Mom at the time through the Hummingbird Project, from Sage Eldercare. They work with people with dementia, bringing back things which brought joy and happiness to their lives. For Mom, it was always music. It was a very memorable day!
My Grateful Heart
“My Grateful Heart” is a Threshold Choir song, written by Laura Fannon, performed by Jim Drake & Lily Mayall. Lily sings with the Threshold Choir in Nelson, BC and introduced Peter to the Marin chapter at the close of Mom’s life. This is one of their songs. Please note there is an opportunity to donate to the Marin Threshold Choir in the Donations section below.
I Heard You Mom
A poem by Betsey Drake
Slideshow
Photo Gallery
On Death
by Kahlil Gibran
Then Almitra spoke, saying, We would ask now of Death.
And he said:
You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?
For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.
I Am Standing Upon The Seashore
by Henry Van Dyke
I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails
to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until at length
she hangs like a speck of white cloud
just where the sea and sky come
to mingle with each other.
Then, someone at my side says;
“There, she is gone!” “Gone where?”
Gone from my sight. That is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull
and spar as she was when she left my side
and she is just as able to bear her
load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her.
And just at the moment when someone
at my side says, “There, she is gone!”
There are other eyes watching her coming,
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout;
“Here she comes!”
And that is dying.
Beginners
by Denise Levertov
Dedicated to the memory of Karen Silkwood and Eliot Gralla
“From too much love of living,
Hope and desire set free,
Even the weariest river
Winds somewhere to the sea–“
But we have only begun
To love the earth.
We have only begun
To imagine the fullness of life.
How could we tire of hope?
— so much is in bud.
How can desire fail?
— we have only begun
to imagine justice and mercy,
only begun to envision
how it might be
to live as siblings with beast and flower,
not as oppressors.
Surely our river
cannot already be hastening
into the sea of nonbeing?
Surely it cannot
drag, in the silt,
all that is innocent?
Not yet, not yet–
there is too much broken
that must be mended,
too much hurt we have done to each other
that cannot yet be forgiven.
We have only begun to know
the power that is in us if we would join
our solitudes in the communion of struggle.
So much is unfolding that must
complete its gesture,
so much is in bud.
In Blackwater Woods
by Mary Oliver
Look, the trees
are turning
their own bodies
into pillars
of light,
are giving off the rich
fragrance of cinnamon
and fulfillment,
the long tapers
of cattails
are bursting and floating away over
the blue shoulders
of the ponds,
and every pond,
no matter what its
name is, is
nameless now.
Every year
everything
I have ever learned
in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side
is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.
In Lieu Of Flowers Please Consider Donating To Community Congregational Church of Tiburon
Jean (and Herb) were founding members of the Community Congregational Church (CCC) soon after their arrival in Belvedere in the late 60s. Throughout the past 50+ years, the church has continued to be a source of fellowship, spiritual growth & challenge and a place to express their faith. It was whilst attending a gathering of elders, “Wisdom Seekers” at CCC in 1993, that Jean prepared her own memorial service, from which we have drawn our inspiration for her Celebration of Life. Most of the hymns, poems and readings were found in her files.
CCC’s Covenant:
As a spiritual community, we strive to embody and uphold the values expressed here, and we consider them to be the foundation of our life together as a church.
In Lieu Of Flowers Please Consider Donating To Threshold Choir
The goal of the Threshold Choir is to bring ease and comfort to those at the thresholds of living and dying. A calm and focused presence at the bedside, with gentle voices, simple songs, and sincere kindness, can be soothing and reassuring to clients, family, and caregivers alike.
As other families have said, for us, the Marin branch of the Threshold Choir’s presence helped us to “be” with Mom after the “doing” was done. Peter and Jared were present, holding hands with Mom and serving her; whilst Betsey and Liz were present from Australia via video link. It was a precious moment.
Thank you for a really beautiful celebration!
Thank you for attending, B & V! It was lovely to see you there – GiGi’s great grandson, with little Autumn – her great great granddaughter!!!
Dear Drake Family,
I can’t imagine a more fitting tribute for your wonderful mother! She defined grace and beauty for the many years I called her my Aunt Jean. Although the Jack Reynolds family was assisted in their cross country move to Oregon by Aunt Jean that really doesn’t tell the whole story. I recently saw the Reynolds family Christmas letter that mentioned me, in particular, as a little 2 year old terror.
I must say I was shocked and appalled, however I then remembered the rest of the story. Meredith is about 16 months older than myself, so almost 4. This was long before seatbelts or car seats. We literally tumbled across the seats quite frequently. And then there was Ellen, who was a newborn traveling in a laundry basket. With a father that appreciated “making good time” never have made it easy for little, or big, girl bladders. I truly believe that Aunt Jean made our family trip possible! I know my Mother felt that way! How chaotic that trip must have been!
I have been proud to have been named for such a wonderful person as Jean Reynolds (Drake). I felt a special bond with the Aunt Jean and longed to spend time with her family. I remember a trip to the East Coast that included visiting the Middlesex Rd farmhouse. I had never seen such a beautiful house. It was so grand that it had been featured in a national home magazine! I believe that the design was a reflection of Aunt Jean’s impeccable taste. I also remember riding a Greyhound bus to San Francisco to join the Herb Drake family for a visit. Quite an adventure for a young teenage girl from Ashland, OR. Always loved and supported, I visited whenever I could. It took my sisters a long time to figure out if you traveled to see family you could leave the farm chores behind. I was always in search of an acceptable alternative to chores, and visiting family always worked.
I will remember her with great fondness! I learned about the unselfish caring for one’s spouse by watching her dedication to the care of Uncle Herb. Encouragement and spoon feeding went a long way in demonstrating her loving care until his life ended. Their true love was evident.
The Celebration of Life that you prepared for her today was wonderful. It was evident that each participant really knew Aunt Jean. The music, poems, scripture, photos and wonderfully written obituary were a is real tribute. Thank you for sharing with those of us who could not be there.
I apologize for missing the virtual reception. I found myself dropped from the connection and was not able to return. It could have been my iPad, although try as I did, I could not connect to read the requirements for participation. My sisters will just laugh because they know about my technology challenges. I even tried calling the Willowwise office, to no avail. I had to leave a message.
So nice to see notes from Chip and Terry Smith, two of the nephews of Aunt Jean, from the Reynolds side. Their mother was Aunt Betsy, the middle child of Blythe and Florence. I miss her, too. Three thousand miles separated the Smiths, Drakes and Reynolds families. Aunt Jean was the last surviving sibling. May the year (s) ahead bring the cousins together in person or on Zoom for a modern day get-together with or without travel. Sorry to miss you all at the reception!
Much Love to those near and far,
Cousin Jean
Such a beautiful and loving tribute to Mommy Jean who embodied those characteristics. She was one of my other mothers and the one from whom I learned about standing up to protect the planet and its peoples. And with Mommy Jean and Daddy Herb, I actually looked forward to going to church at CCC. Kindness, generosity and grace to echo Hannah’s wise words. Love, thoughts, and condolences to the whole family in the passing of this amazing lady.
Thank you for sharing the wonderful memories of Aunt Jean. It was great to hear the tributes from the important people in her life, especially her children and grandchildren. All our love, Terry & Cynthia
What a beautiful celebration for our wonderful, loving Gigi. Thank you all for sharing your memories
Thanks, Katee- and especially for all your help with the photos, etc. The service was full of love & joy and truly honoured GiGi! Xx
I loved your tribute to your Mum Betsey. How many daughters and mothers can relate to this!! A wonderful service from the whole family.
A most beautiful tribute to an amazing woman I am truly grateful to be included xx
I have fond memories of our discussions with her at the beach (Stinson Beach), and watching her do swing dance at parties!
So glad to be part of the celebration of a stellar life. Much love to all, Chip
I have wonderful memories of Jean
Thank you, Jeffrey. GiGi loved spending time with you.
I loved reading this wonderful tribute to Jean. She would chuckle at the modern world’s opportunity to celebrate together across the globe and time zones!
Whether it was a tailgate or holiday party, at Stinson or on the peninsula, Jean is the one I sought out for a quiet conversation…about raising children, protecting the earth, arranging flowers, enjoying best friends, listening for God in the everyday. She is one of the wise ones. I treasure that I knew her. What a gem!
love to all in celebration, Janie Tight
Hi Janie
Thank you for these wonderful memories of Mom which are so visual in your description. I also love the story Peter told me of Andrew’s career path, crediting the video “50 years as a Drake” as his initial work!
Warmly, Betsey
Years ago Jean called me one day and told me about a speaker (the next day) that “I know you will resonate with”. And she was right and it led me into a new and inspiring world.. Thank you Jean for all you gave me from that event and by your presence.
Thank you so much for your post, Barbara… makes me wonder what insight Mom had that was so crystal clear for you! Thank you for giving me that visual of her as a friend – much appreciated!
Many were taken by Jean’s smile, vibrancy, and interest in whoever she was with. It was hard to be dour around her. I miss her beauty and quality of presence. Blessings to Betsey and the rest of Jean’s family.
Thank you, Lois, for this lovely reminder of some of Mom’s special qualities. Feeling your thoughts and blessings all the way in Australia and around the world.
Jean was a most gracious woman with a beautiful smile and laugh. She has been missed since not being able to come to our church, Community Congregational Church of Tiburon, which she helped to establish and thrive. My condolences to her family.
Much appreciated, Shannon! Although not present physically, CCC wasn’t often far from her mind and spirit. It was definitely her spiritual home for over 55 years. Many thanks…
Sending my love and sympathy to you Betz on the loss of your beautiful Mum.
xx Jill
Many thanks, Jill. I love seeing our two beautiful mothers together in the Photo Gallery. I’m sure they’re enjoying a spot of tea together. xx
Sending our love and condolences.
Jillian and Peter xox
Jean was a lovely, thoughtful
Lady who with Gentleman Herb established the early foundations of CCC. We were paired in Pilgrimage Home ( not her first ), and I valued her worldly experiences and reflections.
Thank you, Bill. I love this picture of the early CCC pioneers! Peter and I remember being amazed by Frank Evans when we went to observe his preaching in Squaw Valley. I was most impressed (at 8 years old) that he skied down the hill from one service to the next!
Jill and Peter, thank you so much – we are feeling your love and support. I’m so glad you enjoyed ‘meeting the family’ and learning more about Mom’s life on the website.xx